Let’s safety!

The modern office is full of hazards and we aren’t doing enough to make our employees aware of the dangers they face everyday from seemingly innocuous actions. For example, a simple paper cut can become infected, leading to limb amputation or even death. That is why I propose the following measures to help ensure a safe working environment.

  1. Every action item raised in a meeting should be accompanied by a full evaluation of the potential safety risks associated with that action.
  2. When a user clicks on a print button they should be presented with a screen which includes, but is not limited to, warning of the potential health implications of inhaling toner particles and the possibility for paper cuts. The user must accept that they have read the contents of the screen before the document will print.
  3. All documents should be prefaced by the above warnings and any others associated with activities specified within the document. This should be signed by the reader prior to their continuing on with reading the remaining contents of said document. The text of a document should also be interspersed with messages recommending that the reader stop reading and engage in a set of exercises designed to promote good circulation.
  4. For content designed to be viewed on a computer (for example; web pages) the content should be prefaced by instructions for setting up their computer environment to ensure the correct posture and optimal viewing, as well as listing hazards associated with printing the content. The viewer should click an acceptance button before they can proceed to the content. The content should also be interspersed with suggestions for regular exercise breaks.
  5. All staff should have a Safe Working Instructions (SWI) document associated with them. This should detail any risks associated with interactions with the staff member, including, but not limited to, potential sources of stress and sensitive topics likely to result in physical or verbal violence. The staff member should ensure that the SWI are kept up to date, including the potential health risks associated with any transmissible diseases that the staff member is currently suffering. To enable the potential interactee to formulate an optimal method of interaction the SWI should include risks associated all possible methods of disease transmission (respiratory, blood, sexual, etc).
I would like to see a work environment where a Health and Safety Representative plays a role in every meeting, in every document written and in every personal interaction that takes place. Let’s safety!


Irreverently irrelevant. Sysadmin, developer, web dude in a science research agency. WordPress, Japan, planes, trains, Arduino, Raspberry Pi/Pico, puns, dad jokes, etc


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