The Hogwash School of Communication

Dear Sir/madam,

I would like to invite you to consider your future in the marketing and communications field. Here at Hogwash, a prestigious non-accredited School for Communicators, we have a range of courses available to develop your skills.

Lead by the esteemed Allofus Dumbitdown our courses include:

  • Parceltongue (Selling snake oil)
  • Herbology & Potions (Viagra alternatives)
  • Transfiguration & Arithmancy (Inventing sales figures)
  • Charms (Customer/Employee relations)
  • Apparitions (How to sell non-existent products)
  • Quidditch (Accounting for sunk costs)
  • And many more!

By the end of the course you will be an expert in communicating with muddles via a range of media, such as email, and current affairs and late-night television.

Some of our notable alumni include:

  • Hairy Pothead
  • Herwiney Grange-Hermitage
  • Ronald Weaselwords
  • Loosius Mouthboy

To join this prestigious list all you have to do is reply to this email with a copy of your bank details.

Kind regards,

Tom Marvelous Riddle


Irreverently irrelevant. Sysadmin, developer, web dude in a science research agency. WordPress, Japan, planes, trains, Arduino, Raspberry Pi/Pico, puns, dad jokes, etc


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